Time to mix things up on American Idol

I don't normally blog about American Idol, but after watching last nights episode, a series of thoughts crossed through my mind.

- For starters, what is the deal with Simon and that Kara. Enough it enough. These two should get a room or something, since they are all but pawing each other throughout the show. Simon has his arm on her chair the entire show, they touch shoulders, she lays her head into his chest etc. Playful TV crush? Perhaps. Me thinks more Jesse James/Tiger Woods action (and yes, I did start that sentence with the word Me).

- While I have never liked the judging, it was refreshing in the past to have a different judge start their commentary each time, so the order is always different. Currently its robotic, and always starts with Randy. Randy throws a few "Dude, Dawg, Dude, Pitchy, Dawg" comments, then Ellen and Kara follow suit, rarely differing their opinion from what Randy said, minus the Ebonics. Then of course the T-Shirt chimes in with his own spin. Had the Dawg not started, how might the commentary have differed? At the same time, if they start with Kara, they would likely have to extend the show longer while we wait for her to finish talking while fawning for the camera.

- What would happen to the voting if instead of voting for the person you like, you vote for the person you do NOT like. I trust the end results would potentially be the same, but some people who went far (see Adam Lambert or Sanjaya) would likely get the boot much sooner. Those hometown people, trying to protect their own shrill tone-deaf kid would now have to spread their voting over the remaining contestants. More revenue for the telephone companies, and a more realistic end result to each episode - where good singers don't drop for unknown reasons.

- Similarly, what would happen if they did not have the judges for an episode, or perhaps the judges provided their feedback off camera to see if the audience and viewing public can agree. My guess is it would not be even close. Some of those losers who the judges like would plummet, but the ones who sound good to you and me would likely stay. If FOX wanted to mix it up, it would be an interesting experiment. No doubt in my mind the judging influences how the audience votes, and that is really wrong, "if I'm really being honest with you of course".

- I recall a few seasons back, David Archuleta crashed and burned singing some song, then actually cried into the camera that it was not his song choice, but ultimately, a song chosen by the producers. Of course, the whole episode was quickly smoothed over, and the audience was left to believe the kid was complaining out of frustration. Yet I believe this to be true. Do you really think these kids want to sing some of the songs they sing? I don't. At the same time, I don't want to hear every kid sing Miley Cyrus or Black Eyed Peas which is all they know. If the production staff are helping these kids pick, can't they do better than Shaka Khan or Huey Lewis. At least let them pick songs that were truly good when sung by the original artist. What’s next, Right Said Fred or Milli Vanilli?

- Lots of criticism about the calibre of the guest mentors this season. What do Miley Cyrus and Usher really know about helping the Idol kids? While I don't disagree, is it any worse than some of the mentors from past seasons, like Barry Manilow? While Barry had a great career, he is not even remotely current, and its hard to imagine a kid appreciating his style today. I would love to see them be mentored by some of the best vocal coaches in the world, who can help them with their pitchy issues and work on their upper register (or whatever other weird Paula-isms they always seem to be told they fail in). At the current pace, I fully expect Justin Beiber to be a guest mentor in one of these episodes. He is a star after all, and Justin needs more reasons to wear his "Free Scooter" t-shirts.

- While I get that this show is all about advertising and revenue generation for FOX, there has to be some kind of cost-benefit analysis done on the show length. At a stout 2 hours, how many people actually watch each and every second of the 2 hour show, including commercials? Raise your hand, guy in Wisconsin, you're the only one. The rest of us fast forward 90% of the show, or if watching live, take those 20 minute intervals between singers to do practical things like file taxes, get root canals etc. So Mr Advertiser, and you know who you are, you are paying for America to fast forward or ignore your spot. Can you name an advertiser on last nights show besides Coke and the car company (is it Ford?) who they do those wacky commercials for? Me either.

Time to be quiet now.

No Cheese Please!

So I went to my favourite Wendy's last night and decided to use the Drive-thru. As an aside, do you ever notice when you use the Drive-thru, you may be the only one in line, yet by the time you get to the cashier, there are 5 or 6 cars behind you. Makes me feel like the Pied Piper sometimes, leading the people to the restaurant for a square burger and a Frosty. I should get a commission or something.

Also, given they have not used Wendy's on the TV Show Undercover Boss yet, I have not been grossed out watching how the burgers are made, so its still a safe place to me. I trust my reader(s) who may have worked at Wendy's in the past may disagree but whatever, I'm down with Wendy's for now.

So I'm in the Drive-thru buying my Baconator combo (heck, if you're going to kill your arteries, might as well enjoy it, right?). Anyone who has ever dined with me knows there are a few things I tend not to like on my food. One of the biggest is cheese. While I love cheese on some things like pizza, French Onion soup, or even nachos, cheese is not my thing for most foods. Maybe I was traumatized as a kid being chased by the Cheeseburglar at the McDonalds Playpen or ate too much Cheez-Wiz on my celery sticks or something (OK, yes, I am showing my age). I dunno. I just don't like it, especially on my burgers.

Now let me preface my cheese issue with the simple fact I know we're not talking about Harvard Graduates working in fast food, and it tends to happen at most every fast food place I go to. This time, I actually watched the "Chef" making my burger grab not one, but two slices of cheese (since I was clearly a special customer, worthy of double the cheese slice pleasure) to put on my burger. So here I am screaming through the Drive-thru window at some lady with a headset and a hairnet "No Cheese, No Cheese". Too late. Cheese on meat, meat on bun, bun in foil, foil in bag.

So I politely tell the order taker person, the same order taker person I told the first time, that I think they just put cheese on my burger, and I asked for no cheese. Now at this point, that same little thought went through my mind as yours, anytime you need to send food back. Some vengeful clerk having a meltdown in the back, chanting "I'll show you no cheese, beeeyaattcch", and perhaps adding a few 'special' ingredients to offset the lack of cheese. Not for a second am I suggesting Wendy's is like that, but as mentioned above, we're not talking about NASA employees here. So the order taker in her snarky voice to the Burger Chef says "No cheese", as if it was the chef's fault she could not take an order properly.

Sadly, this happens more often than not. Now I am not a rude person, and having worked in restaurants before, I know how difficult some customers can be. I don't want to be that guy speaking into the Drive-thru speaker like the person on the other end is deaf and has some kind of mental challenge, saying "Nooooooooooo Chhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzeeee ppppppuuuuuullllllleeeeeeeeeeezzzzzz" I'm just not that guy. But at the same time, I don't want to continuously suffer with eating a burger I no longer like. Forget fixing Health Care reform. Can someone focus on figuring out how to better educate fast food people on listening to what the person is ordering? Starving children in Africa would love that slice of cheese I just rejected you know. Or at least thats what my mother would say to me.

Did I mention, the concession stand guy at the arena always overfills my pop, and I wind up carrying a sticky cup of soda to my seat every time? I'll save that vent for a different time.

By the way, the Frosty was great!

I need to be quiet now.

"You're a wee bit pitchy Dawg!"

I'm going through a bit of Olympics withdrawal around here. While the events were great fun, I find myself surfing television looking for something to cheer for - anything. Go Slap Chop Guy, sell those crappy cutting machines. Go quirky "pitchy" kid on American Idol (I don't even need to say which one, since most fall into this category), please butcher songs I used to like. You get the gist. Sadly, not a great selection. I am cheering for Goldberg in the Apprentice though. Can you imagine a 300 pound wrestler/bodybuilder sized Harley Dude telling you what to do? I thought not.

By the way, can anyone tell me what the deal is with Ivanka? At times, she says some fairly intelligent stuff, but at times, she states the obvious. But most importantly, what is the deal with her boobs? Did she get augmentation? Nothing says respect me and listen to my great words of wisdom than a purchased pair of funbags. I'm trying to be sensitive here, but at the same time, really?!?!? I'd be mesmerized staring at those things in any meeting I might have with her. They just seem much bigger than I recall. I could be wrong, and Ivanka, call me if you want to set the record straight. I'll be here all week.

BEFORE AFTER

Speaking of which, I am a bit delayed in sharing my learnings from this past weeks episode of Undercover Boss. Of course, it follows the same stale formula as every other episode:

- CEO has opening and closing "bored" meeting with Management Team - Check!
- Employees never know what the President/CEO looks like - Check!
- CEO stays in seedy motels accessible to 5 states - Check!
- CEO incapable of performing elementary tasks like packing and stacking boxes - Check!
- Facial hair and a hat, and voila - CEO is in cognito - Check!
- CEO realizes elementary tasks in his business are actually quite hard - Check!
- Tug at Heartstrings storylines - Check!
- Big atrium follow-up presentation to staff who just want a reason to take a break and maybe get some free grub - Check!

But, I did learn a few new things. For starters, who knew Macaulay Culkin grew up to work for GSI Commerce in Customer Service. And who knew he could be so darn polite:

Customer: Your service is absolute crap and you are an idiot
Macaulay: I'm sorry about that. Can I send you some free packing tape?

That guy, whether its Macaulay or not, will likely be trying to sell me something door-to-door soon. I can feel it happening.

My biggest learning of this past episode was that the kind of customer service I am used to (rude, no care for the consumer, condescending etc etc) not only happens in many places, but is actually viewed as not good at GSI Commerce. Who knew? I could swear there is some kind of Bad Customer Service Training 101 courses out there that many companies send their people to. Or at least the cost benefit analyses of bad customer service to future customer retention is inversely proportional and mutually exclusive. Oh man! Did I just type that? I really gotta get out more.

Ivanka, call me! We can talk SWOT Analyses or Corporate Re-Engineering in the Property Management Sector. And I won't stare at your boobs either - OK, I would.

I need to be quiet now.

"It makes me wet"

Just to prove to you that I don't spend all my time watching television, this past weekend, I frequented the Emerald City Comicon in Seattle WA. Before you immediately assume I am a major geek (which I am not) and love to talk Trekkie or something (I've never even watched the show), rest assured, I am a very normal person who happens to like comics - as many of the people at the convention were as well. Some with funny costumes and big boobs mind you, but that’s for another blog. Besides, comics were a great read after years of studying business process management, quantum theory and algorithms, For those who have no idea what I just said, call it school 'stuff'.

Walking the floor of the cramped Seattle Convention Center is the equivalent to a human game of Frogger. People are moving a thousand miles an hour, in every direction, and you just want to move to the booth across the way without hitting an Ewok, Batman, or that Green thing with the cape. People stop on a dime and clog the aisles to take a picture of someone dressed up as a character from a movie or some super-hero. Reminds me of my favourite TV character, Johnny Drama from Entourage, who played the main Viking in some television show called Viking Quest, and wound up attending comics shows like the one I went to. Just normal guys trying to make a buck or grab some attention. "Victory!!!"

Commonplace at this show is the scent of BO, a few farts, extremely hyper sugared-up kids and a wide variety of butt cracks - not that I was looking for the latter, but its hard to miss Plumber Pete bending over to fish out his favourite Archie comic from a box on the ground. So needless to say, I tend to proceed with caution for both body damage and visual damage.

My highlight is visiting the tables where people are selling their comics. You've got the store-owned booths, who have chosen to bring a selection of their inventory from the store to the show. Everything is well organized and priced as a store might price, and the booth clerks are knowledgeable and helpful. Its a reflection of their store, so they tend to put up a good display. Some even take credit cards and offer money-back guarantees should the books be damaged. Pretty much a clean operation.

Then there are those other vendors - call them the flea market vendors. Stuff is everywhere, nothing is sorted, prices are listed for some stuff and not others, overall, kind of chaotic. Not only are they non-professional vendors, but they struggle with the volume of people who are perusing their stuff. Not all of the flea market vendors are like this, but many are and I love these guys. Why you say? Because this is the reality of comic buying for me. People who have accumulated a lot of stuff over time, hoping to unload it to other people still accumulating, all in a frantic forum. This kind of absolute chaos works for me. You could go to the same booth 30 minutes apart, and have the prices completely changed for unknown reasons, whereas the booth owners look more disheveled by the minute.

At one table, a father had clearly brought in his cherished collection of comics he had collected as a boy. He had brought his loving wife and son to help him in his booth. Now I happened to be nearby and heard the following conversation:

Dad: Honey, I'm going over there to check out that booth (walks away)
Customer to Wife: How much does this book cost?
Wife: I don't know.
Son: I think my Dad said that one was $10
Customer: Seems kind of high
Wife: I'll sell it to you for $2
Customer: Done
Wife to Son: I don't care what your father says, we have got to get rid of this crap now so I can have my basement back! If you tell you're father, no cell phone for you!

A different time, I heard one seller tell his partner "It makes me wet". Now I have no idea what they were talking about, and maybe best I never know. Needless to say, that guy is passionate about his comics as many of the people at these shows are. You hear a lot of interesting stuff and see a lot of interesting behaviour.

Bottom line is if you're looking for something completely different, I recommend you attend one of these shows. Maybe you'll see me walking around, or at least my butt crack.

When I grow up, I want to be a Val-ette

Sorry for the delay in posting. I trust my avid reader(s) have missed my deep words of wisdom as much as I have, but sadly, I got a bit busy saving the whales and climbing Everest. You know, important stuff.

My favourite guilty pleasure Undercover Boss aired again this past Sunday. Lets recap what we know so far, based on this past experience with Churchill Downs:

- Employees never know what the President/CEO looks like - Check!
- CEO likes to stay in seedy motels accessible to 5 states - Check!
- CEO incapable of performing elementary tasks like feeding oats to a horse and washing it - Check!
- Facial hair and a hat, and voila - CEO is in cognito - Check!

Now I really do like this show, and the moral of the series is we need to pay closer attention to the little guy who does all the work. Unfortunately, the show has gotten exceptionally predictable and formulaic. Here in a nutshell is every episode:

- Introduce CEO in his family environment at his/her (I will assume his going forward, since every episode thus far has been a man) multi-million dollar home. Make sure all family members pretend to be happy. Show arbitrary family sport such as shooting hoops or playing cards with family. Make Dad look good and make sure maid takes the day off.
- Show CEO entering boardroom and introducing the concept. Zoom in on shock of Senior Management Team. Do not show Senior Management making cell phone calls to their teams advising to baton down the hatches and watch out for big boss.
- Show CEO shaving/growing facial hair and putting on bad fitting jeans, then checking into arbitrary seedy hotel. Ensure Executive Assistants remain off screen in room next door with CEO’s Blackberry.
- Find 3-4 elementary tasks CEO cannot perform. Ensure you show him fumbling through. Zoom in on facial expression of line manager, pretending not to know who he is and rolling their eyes.
- Ensure at least 2 of the tasks include either underpaid or overworked employees which gut-wrenching life stories to tug at the heart of the audience. Visible minorities, females and seniors work best. Show tears whenever possible.
- Show CEO looking real tired after a hard days work. Zoom in on sweaty face while eating micro waved food (since clearly people in seedy hotels don't eat out).
- Minimize showing insubordinate or underperforming employees. Never show employees wondering why CEO is asking so many questions.
- Show CEO back in boardroom telling Management Team that they have worked amongst the little people. Ensure one employee asks blatantly pre-planned question to make it seem like boardroom audience cares.
- Roll all the people who interacted with the "Undercover Boss" in limos to head office, since that’s how all Head Office people get to work.
- Show re-introduction meeting with people. Ensure CEO offers something like new job or better work environment to show good faith. Make sure CEO starts every conversation with “Remember Me?”
- Show CEO holding town hall meeting with employees he has never me before. Show CEO hugging the little people.
- Show happy ending updates of how everyone is now a better person. Even Jimbo, the chauvinist Hooters Manager.
- Watch ratings soar.

CBS, call me up. I can produce this show for you no problem.

Rusty is NOT making pancakes

I got an email from someone via Facebook (FB), which forced me to go to FB to retrieve it. Being as I am at work, my company server has banned access to FB, forcing me and others to find other means of accessing the site. Rest assured, I finally retrieved the email, which was a grovel from my cousin about how he needed to fundraise for some long bike ride he was taking. Glad to see I used my amazing computer programming bypass skills to retrieve this one. Thanks Mel.

Now I do not profess to being a big fan of FB. Ultimately, I use it to reach out (or be reached out) to the ladies on the soccer team I coach (yes, I said ladies. I'll save this one for another day). Every once in a while, its fun to listen to one of my players claim she is grossly sick and unable to make training. Then I go to FB, and see that "Candace is partying HARD 2-nite" as her FB update. Nice try Candace. You'll be riding the PINE 2-morrow as your reward. Like most people, every once in a while I get the odd email from someone in my distant past who is stoked to have reconnected with me through FB. But ultimately, FB to me is just another website I go to after researching colonoscopies and penis shortening medicines - you know, what I usually surf for.

So Mel sends me his "Tour de France" fundraiser, and I am obliged to hit the FB circuit. When I go to the Newsfeed of my FB, I am amazed at what I find. Now maybe I am in the minority, but do people really care about some of the excitement they find people telling each other as updates? Of course this is coming from the same person who is blogging as a therapeutic solution to pent up thoughts, but I suspect...or at least hope... my insights are more interesting than reading that "Jim is making pancakes" or "Kelly wants to take a walk" among other less than stimulating information. I'm sure Twitter is the same way. Our society has moved to this culture where somehow you need to tell everyone what you are doing - reverse Big Brother if you like - since they would not normally watch. Odd but I suspect true.

At what point did the memo come out saying trivial and mundane activities are to be posted on FB. I clearly missed it. I also missed the memo about people "pimping" out their families every 5 minutes, as if they are using FB like the camera of their life. "Today, me and Kid A threw the ball around, while Kid B played in the sandbox and Wife did some gardening. It was a special moment for me, as I really felt we bonded as a family. Here are the pictures." Then 5 minutes later, the same person posted an update to the update, saying, "Wow, Kid B has decided to play catch too, while Kid A is now chasing a butterfly. Wife is loving the fresh air. Check out this picture of a slug I took" Ugh. Then 5 of this person's friends comment that they like it, with the thumbs up icon to boot. Double Ugh.

Now I am not trying to sound insensitive. I trust those were some of the best pancakes around, I'm sure the walk was nice and the slug was ugly. But lets get real here people!!! Do we really need to know this stuff. At what point, does someone (maybe even me depending on how violent I get thinking about FB) post "Rusty just went pee" or something similar. Common sense people, lets draw the line here, OK?

Now I must get back to those pancakes I just made...

I miss my cookie

Many moons ago, I used to work for a major unnamed Financial company, who is extremely well respected and well known to many. It was always fun working there, since the majority of my peers were around my age, everyone worked hard, but at the same time, everyone appreciated the fun side of working together as a team. Perhaps the fun was offsetting the fact they paid in bottle caps, and our work stations were the size of milk crates, but you tended to overlook that stuff over time. Besides, I got cool mechanical pencils and an endless supply of multi-coloured sticky notepads. I felt empowered beyond belief.

Today being Friday, I had a positive flashback to my time at that company for one major reason - my free cookie. Friday was forever known as "Cookie Day". Every Friday, our Cookie Sergeant would identify the Cookie Mules for the day. The role of Cookie Mule was simple - find the highest ranking person you could find on the floor (usually a partner, it was a contest to find the richest person) and milk that person for hard cash or credit cards. The unwritten code of conduct was if you were flagged by the Cookie Mules, you were forking out the cash or credit card, whether you liked it or not. The more difficult you made the "capture", the more cookies would be spent using the victims funds. If a victim made a huge fuss, they would be targeted for multiple weeks on pure principle, even if they paid the week before. Don't even try asking for change back. Pretty simple gang mentality, but it worked for us.

We felt like bank robbers, looking for the next victim. Partners, when they found out the Mules were on the loose, vanished like ghosts. Magically, Partners had meetings, bathroom breaks, ran for coffee, morning trysts, I dunno where they went, but they were gone, warm coffee still at their desks. Regardless, every week, someone was caught and forked out the dough. One week, a shady Partner who thought he was staying ahead of the curve and knew he was a target decided to bring in his own supply of cookies. Chips Ahoys!!!! You've gotta be kidding me. Don't bring that weak stuff into our office (relative to what we were used to of course. If any Chips Ahoy employees are reading this, they are by far the best packaged cookie ever of course). We decided to milk him for coffee instead. He never tried that stunt again - rookie.

The second, and most important aspect of the Mule task, was hitting the shopping mall to find cookies. Not packaged or grocery cookies. Ohhhh Nooooo. We're talking about those kick-ass Starbucks/Costco sized jobs - think large Mrs. Fields cookies times 5. The more expensive the better. The fresher and biggest, the best. Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter, whatever, nobody cared as long as they were free. The mules would come prancing back into the building with huge grins, knowing they had outdone the previous weeks Mules in quality and quantity.

Yet given this was a professional environment, and clients were abound, discretion was paramount to the cookie distribution success. The Cookie Sergeant would send a common discrete phone message using our voicemail system. She was always cryptic, saying something like "the eagles have landed", or simply "here". Nothing else, no directions, no location, just the code. As I grew to learn, that meant get your ass over to her office, and claim your cookie.

One each (we were not vultures) of your choice, no double dipping, no presampling. If you touched one, it was yours - period. The best Mules, of which I included myself, would ensure everyone’s favourites were acquired, hence even the last person would still get a good cookie. The rookie Mules would get those odd, Martha Stewartish cookies like Cranberry and Flax with Coconut and Paprika, or some other crazy concoction. No thanks - I'd rather eat dirt. The bad selection Mules would get the extra assignment stapling, photocopying, sorting thumb-tacks, whatever nobody else wanted to do.

So of course, by noon, you had an entire office full of happy, sugared up employees and one disgruntled partner wishing he had gone to the washroom sooner. I would leave that firm, and not surprisingly, franchises like Cookies By George and Mrs Fields are now out of business or less common. Coincidence? But on days like today, I sure miss that cookie. Or perhaps I miss the process of getting the cookie....

Undercover Boss Lessons for All of Us

My favourite guilty pleasure on television these days is the Undercover Boss. This is a show about how Presidents and CEOs of major corporations go undercover James Bond style in their own organization in hopes of seeing and learning things about the organization from the lowest wrung of the ladder. Ignore the blatant integrity violation the show concept delivers, and its quite entertaining, though not always for the most obvious reasons.

For those who have not caught this show, or missed an episode, allow me to enlighten you on my Top 12 learnings you may have missed

1 - At Waste Management, drivers were not given breaks to pee. Assuming Waste Management does not control the market on drivers with the biggest bladders, those fluids come out somewhere. Some female drivers build their own pee cans, though that is considered taboo to company protocol. Next time you think your flowers have been watered by the garbage man, think twice.

2 - Also at Waste Management, for every awful port-o-potty you have had the misfortune of visiting, there is someone out there who can cleaned that germ metropolis in record speed to the point where they were time measured and evaluated. And without safety gear to boot!

3 – At Hooters, forcing an employee to eat baked beans off a plate without utensils or the use of your hands is not grounds for dismissal. Also, employees would opt to eat baked beans without utensils or the use of hands rather than stay on shift.

4 - Hooters actually think people go to their establishments for the wings.

5 - Only the 7-11s in my neighborhood have the loitering kids and pan-handlers. Nowhere else.

6 - When you cannot find a 7-11 clerk to buy your Slurpee, chances are he/she is in the back eating lunch with their parents

7 - Never watch White Castle make a burger if you want to eat it. Same for the frozen burgers.

8 - One of the best ways to make President or CEO of an organization is to be born into the business. Family lineage is key.

9 - Being CEO does not mean you know how to make a hamburger, pick garbage, fry chicken wings or make coffee. That’s not in the job description.

10 - Many employees have no idea who the President of the Company is, let alone what he/she looks like.

11 – If the boss calls you to Head Office without warning or reason, chances are you were the last contestant on Undercover Boss.

12 – CEOs move at supersonic speed. They can shuttle from the same seedy highway motel to multiple locations in multiple states in no time. Also, most male CEOs must have facial hair to be successful.

Feel free to share any learning you may have had from watching this show.

A City in Withdrawal

The most impressive part of the past 17 days of chaotic Olympics events was not the accumulation of the most medals in Canadian history, nor the final gold in Men’s Hockey we so craved (though we did not actually properly see the game winning goal on television until replays minutes later - thanks for that nice camerawork CTV). Rather. the most impressive thing for Vancouverites about these Olympics was the simple reality that for those brief 17 days, the city galvanized as one and forgot about our own crap for a little while.

We cheered for Canadians like we have never cheered before, whether at home or out and about - people we really do not know, from places we have never been to, nor plan to go to. It did not matter so long as they were Canadian. That same Canadian Athlete could have ruthlessly cut us off in traffic, as is so common, or butt in line, and we would normally ride them like the vultures that they are, until we realized who they were, then the conversation would turn to congratulations, can I buy you a Tim’s? I even saw people from Vancouver cheering for people from Toronto - not me of course, but it happened.

We ultimately became tacky tourists in our own town. We bought anything with a Canada symbol, like we had never been there before. I saw Vancouverites buying our own bad maple syrup and strange dried salmon and walking around asking directions to places we've been to a thousand times, or talking pictures of street signs or curbs or totem poles, or whatever people wanted to remember. We took to the streets like revelers on New Years Eve in Times Square, minus the big ball and frigid temperatures. We chanted and sang our National Anthem more times than we can imagine, everywhere, even in odd places like urinals and port-o-potties. It did not matter.

For once, I heard no separation discussion - I even saw the Fleur de Lis flying at a few events. There was no gruesome warfare as the gangs decided to celebrate instead of whacking each other in broad daylight as they have been doing. There was even minimal protesting and rioting, though not sure the impact of the one major coup, the attack of the Bay (people must have been upset about not getting a pair of red mittens I guess). It was uncharacteristic behavour for this city, but refreshing and different all the same.

It certainly seemed odd to hold the biggest winter event in the city which is afraid of snow (anyone who has witnessed Vancouver declare a National Emergency at the first glimpse of snow knows what I mean). Yet the city pulled it off. In the weeks that follow, the city will return to its normal rainy self. Panhandlers will return, traffic will congest, bad drivers will return and Cypress will go back to being the sucky mountain it is, oh sorry, I guess it never changed during the Olympics. But for that 17 day window, we forgot about all of that, and just decided to enjoy what we knew we would never experience again. For Vancouver, that is better than any gold medal.