How to make new friends on the bus

I had to take the bus the other day. This is not my normal mode of transportation, but every once in a while, you have no choice. When I was a kid, I took the bus often, and tended to gravitate towards the same part of the bus every time - the back - since that’s where the cool kids sat. Over time, I would work my way back to near the front of the bus though being the considerate guy that I am, always avoided those handicap seats in the event someone more worthy should take them.

So anyways, there I was sitting in my cozy spot on the bus, once again at the back - Oh yeah you cool kids, I'm taking your spot. Try to stop me!

I like to watch the unique behaviour of my fellow riders. As people get on and the bus begins to fill, you start to see people protect their space, as if they own that portion of the bus. By that I mean, I see people move to sit on the aisle side of the seat, or even in the middle, as if god forbid, some crazy were to come sit beside them. Others sprawl their bags all across the bench, as if the bag paid a fare. Anything to ensure nobody else sits beside them. As such, those new riders, many of whom apparently went to the polite school of ridership, tend not to barge into those open seats. Apparently, interaction on the bus is taboo that way. I saw some crazy death glares when people even tried to touch the buzzer anywhere near where the other person sat. The only thing missing is the cool Westside Story music.

So as I am on the back bench acting all cool like Fonzie (for you youngin's, that’s the cool guy of the crowd), I see a crazed woman eyeballing the space right beside me, despite her being at least 30 yards away at the front. At that point, there are NO other seats to her, just the one beside me. There were still tons of open seats at the time, yet she gets this bug-eyed look on her face, goes steaming down the aisle, bumping at least 8 people along the way with her bags, and whammo, plunks herself down right beside me and another person, thereby cramping our space now.

So it made me wonder. Why did she sit here? What did she avoid every other open seat to come sit beside me? Was this an experiment, or was I on Candid Camera? Did she want to sit with the cool kids too? Oh so many thoughts, but so few answers. I could be naive and assume she totally thought I was the cats meow and she must sit beside me to feed off my Tom Cruise vibe, but even I am not that dumb. The fact that she smelled like garlic and cigarette butts did not help matters, though that can be a total turn on for me ;)

So the long trip continued, and she eventually got off the bus. No words were spoken. No eye contact. Nada. Thanks for coming.

Now I am a common sense guy. I tend to respect other peoples space, and spread out at every opportunity. Same thing with parking lots. If I can park a few spaces away from another car, thereby ensuring easy access without banging into the car beside me, I'll do it every time. Yet other people don't think that way.

I encourage my reader(s) to try an experiment next time they are on the bus. Especially if the bus is near empty. Make sure you sit BESIDE someone else, even if you are the only 2 people on the bus. I trust you will garner strange looks from your new neighbour, but you'll have to overlook that. Say nothing. Don't look at the other person. If you can make yourself stinky by avoiding deodorant or eating a Ceaser salad ahead of time, even better. Just see what happens and let me know. I am curious.