Hi, I’m Rusty and I like meat

I'm always intrigued at how some people introduce themselves, including the small talk initiated when first meeting someone. Last night, at my soccer game, I asked all the players to introduce themselves and tell everyone what position they play on the team, given we have a number of new people who don't know everyone.

The first person to speak, a player I have coached for at least 6 years, immediately spouts out " Hi, I'm Millie, I play goalie and forward, and I like meat." This is a G-rated blog, so we'll all assume she was referring to food. Of course, what ensued for the next 14 people was a quick hello, and their status on meat consumption. Hilarious, a great ice-breaker, but at the same time, very unusual.

For perspective, recognize this is the same player who once showed up to a game wearing a bright tangerine orange hoodie with the name "Kristin" emblazoned on the back. When I asked her why she was wearing it, she said why not, since it only cost $2 at some thrift store.

Watching the Celebrity Apprentice this past weekend, "The Don" decided to introduce another sibling into the show mix. Apparently, there are more of them. Who knew? The newest Trump to grace this show was Eric, the third child he had with Ivana. He also has the same unique comb over hair, and bears a striking resemblance to Donald, more so than other older 2 kids. I had to Google him to find out he is an Executive VP in the Trump empire (gotta love that nepotism), 3 years young than Ivanka, but at least 25 years older than her boobs.

When Don introduced Eric, he said something to the effect of "This is Eric, my other son. He is a Georgetown graduate." Well good on you Eric. My opinion of you has already been altered. Not.

As a side note, both Ivanka and Donald Jr. were Wharton Business School graduates, which Don Sr. ranted and raved about way back when since he of course is an alum of there too, and clearly, that school is "the BEST". So I guess either Eric is the black sheep of the house, or perhaps spent more time avoiding the legacy of the other family members. Not that Georgetown is a bad school. But its not Wharton, which Don seems to believe creates business gods. As an aside, I went to the same school as Alex Trebek. What is "Bazinga!"

So why is it important to share school affiliation with an introduction? Do people from Harvard tell everyone they went there? Perhaps, but in the first sentence out of their mouth? Maybe by sharing that, you are attempting to justify the credibility of your child, as if to think the son of Trump is nothing more than a disciple the great one, and would be lucky to be working at Mcds if not for the Trump name. Donald is a wee bit of a braggart, so I expect nothing less, but at the same time, who are you really trying to impress. Now if Donald had said something to the effect of "This is Eric. I've ignored him on this show for 8 seasons, but we've run out of people who still like me", that might have caught my attention. Not as much as Ivanka's fake rack (can you tell I am still obsessed by that).

When I meet people for the first time, I usually say something to the effect of "Hi, I'm Rusty. Pleased to meet you" looking them straight in the eyes boxer style, while trying to give the grip of death to their hand as a reminder that they met me. Better to be gripper than the grippee I say. If someone tried to shake my hand back just as hard, I refuse to let go until they do. We could stand there for days, but I rely upon my higher pain threshold to win that one every time.

I guess I’ll have to change my intro. “Hi, I’m Rusty and I like meat.”